Am i losing my passion for life? Sort of true lately but not to the point till i want to end my life. Choi!
Have you ever felt not being appreciated? For me, many times. But never before i'm being disappointed by this particular matter; EDUCATION. Just ask anybody who knows me, they will know how much i value education. In fact i always hunger for new knowledge, just about everything moreover when it comes to social, contemporary and history. These three topics which falls under social sciences are the best to ignite my will to stay put reading or surfing the net for hours.
But some people managed to poisoned me to let go my love for reading just entirely. Because of "you" i rarely have the time to read, for i would rather go to sleep instead. And just so you know, this biggest enemy of mine if ironically comes from the whole education system itself which is "ASSIGNMENT".
I understand more than enough that assignments were meant to strengthen or double the effect of preaching and lecturing that we have received in class, but sadly too much of assignments are actually killing the time of your own. In my case, 8 hours is normal for me to spend for class in a day. I only have 3 days full of class while there is no class on Monday and Friday. But the assignments for PR student like me are way too extensive especially to handle a project involving high profile client and to juggle with other nonetheless pile of work.
Say i'm complaining, nothing but true. The hectic schedule had left my personal space being abandoned. My room is getting messier each day, my stinky clothes are piling high and i send em' to the laundry instead of washing em' myself. Microtrend, My Favourite Wife, Body 2 Body are the waiting list in my reading list. Thanks to the new media, i no longer need to browse traditional newspapers for my daily staple, thus saving every pennies. Since when a mum needs to make an appointment to talk to his son? and even felt offended just now because her son just forgotten her birthday. Such a bad bad son i am now.
I keep on telling myself not to let anything to tear me down but these whole so-called responsibilities are testing my limits. I fear of not be able to complete my fifth semester. I fear my grades are falling down, i fear not being loved, i fear of being a loser! Aarrghh!
Friends, thank you so much for at least managed to light up my gloomy days. Sometimes i just faking everything up so you will not notice. Deep down in my heart, i'm just a mere human prone to every possibilities. Thank you for lending me your ears for me to rant, your shoulders for me to cry on even to the hardest weep.
I know this post is not going to change the current state of being but do pity me for the uneasy feeling inside of me. Each of us has our own trying moment and this my turn to taste it. I hope i will stay the uncertain war i'm fighting in. The most i can do now is to live by the chant: