Monday, April 19, 2010

rantings of an intern

Finally I find a good reason to start writing again. Discipline is the chant I never managed to utter correctly. Laziness is the disease I was diagnosed with ever since.. forever. Dieting is non-existent in my dictionary. The ironic thing is that, I used to be a sort of, I don’t how to ideally define it but an individual with a towering personality – arguable and questionable. Well at least that’s how I felt la previously. If you have better noun to define me, please furnish me so.

My current state of being is nothing but a total straight forward programmed, pre-planned life. I’m confined to my desk in the office from 8.30 am – 5.30 pm with mostly writing assignment. Never thought one day I’ll be manning business report – yes, with all the jargons and technicalities which I rather not knowing before. Still, I managed to stand my 4 months internship which will end this Friday (that’s 3 days from now) tentatively and subsequently pledge to stay loyal to the company for my official employment. I do have my ups and downs here, but thanks to the ‘fabulous” colleagues in my division for believing in me and accepting me just the way I am.

Works aside, I’m start feeling a sense of emptiness while at home. The whole brotherhood consists of 10 persons but since most of us have started our respective trainings, we barely have the time spent together. Nevertheless, this semester marks the end of stay for us in that ‘home sweet home’ of us smack in the middle of Jalan Kristal Shah Alam. We had thrown the craziest birthday bashes ever to celebrate Lah and Faizul’s born day. Not to mention the barbeque party with impressive turnouts held at the front corner of the house, filled with bottomless “bandung soda” and meatiest of meat we jointly marinated using self-invented concoction. It tasted heavenly.

Looking backward, I did have those joy and laughter moment. My life is not that boring I guess. It’s just so niggardly hard to accept the fact that we are all stepping up to another phase of our lives. In denial I am now indeed. Instead of venting and whining non stop, I should be more thankful on how things have been assorted for me. In regard to the subject of loneliness, I should stop being self-centered but to appreciate people and my surroundings. My friends are not going anywhere out of Klang Valley which means they are reachable and I should make it a point to keep in touch as frequent as I could, just like I did with my family since 5 years ago. We are bounded by land and sea but a simple call away makes us closer. I never calculate the amount of love I receive and give but I’m sure they are aplenty!

As for now, you need to excuse me, I need to work.